the Milk Chicken Bomb

written by Gannon Orton for the october 1998 issue of the BigBrother Skateboardmagazine

this text is really evil - but I like the style and idea anyway; I would never ever have the slightest ambition to take it to reality. It's so awfull, that anyone, who tries this, is bound to get into deep deep trouble. If I find out about You doin' it to someone, I'll defintely come over and kick Your balls with my pointed cowboy-boots! So beware and only laugh at the text.

I don't know when or where the 'Chicken Milk Bomb' started, but it came to my attention when some kids from San Francisco started planting them in other people's houses. Soon after that, those people had to pack their shit up and move. What You get from the Chicken Milk Bomb is no big bang (actually, there is no explosion whatsoever), but when that top pops - watch the fuck out!
First, you're going to need some chicken and milk (the older the better) - and nonne of that nonfat shit. You want the thick, whole milk. Then, you're going to need a jar - ( an empty mayonnaise jar works just fine). Now, here's what You do: Cram the chicken into the jar, fill it up with milk and cap it off. Tighten it up good - you don't want any unexpected spills. Now it's time for the 'stash'. the warmer the place, the better. Personally, I suggest a heat vent, where it will stay nice and warm (plus, every time the heater turns on, t5he stench will get blown all over the place). Choosing the hiding spot is very important, because the Chicken Milk Bomb takes three to four weeks to 'blow up'. Eventually, the lid will pop off or the glass will break - either way, when that shit blows, out comes the most rancid of smells, that will make even the strongest of stomachs churn. What's more, the smell that is emitted doesn't just go away; it lingers around as a constant reminder. So don't just go tossing them in your friend's house as a practical joke. However, should you be evicted from your house, it's a great way to srew your landlord.

© by Larry Flynt Productions

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